Letting Go

In life, there are many times and many ways we have to let go. When we think about it, the first time we have to let go is actually when we are born. And the umbilical cord is cut. There we are, having to breathe on our own. As children, it is most likely fairly easy to let go. Although I do remember some instances where it seemed really difficult for me to let go. I was about six years old. And I had a lovely tea set. I was playing on the balcony. And when it was time to come in, our neighbor from upstairs had visited and helped me bring in my tea set. Well, she dropped the box. And my tea set shattered. I would not speak to that neighbor and held a grudge against her. From there on in, the other time I was about nine years old. And there was a new house being built next to our house. My friend and I would play in the sand pile. They had for the construction. And we would make little spoons out of aluminum paper that came usually in the olden days, in cigarette boxes. And since all my family smoked, I had lots of that nice paper, and we would make spoons out of those papers. Well, I gave my friend a spoon. And we played in the sand, with our spoons, baking. After we were done, my friend grabbed my spoon and ran away with both spoons. Well, she was no longer my friend. And when I walked by her, the next days, I would not even look at her. So I could not let go of the spoon incident. Growing up, of course, I learned there were many more serious things one had to let go of. And I always thought of myself, learning from those past young experiences. That I did try to let go. My perspective today is, of course, from a Nan's perspective. That's all I can do. It's only my perspective. But I see many older people still have a very hard time of letting go. I live in a CCRC, a continued care community. I'm always amazed about the presence of people in this community that are intellectually, or artistically, so gifted. And many work themselves into higher positions. I think because of my generation, most women my age in the CCRC when in the workforce, were mostly teachers, or nurses, or librarians. All wonderful dedicated positions. Whenever one moves from independent living, into assisted living, one has to let go of many things. Personal items and emotional baggage. I remember having been so happy to collect stuff in my early years. And my husband would have to build me another shelf for my newest collection. While friends and family may have liked my collections, it did not mean anything to them. It only meant something to me. Because it was my experience to collect these items. So when the time came, no one is really interested in my collection. So I gave most of it away. That's called letting go. When my husband passed away. I had to let go. Big time. People always use the term. You have to move on. I do not believe that is a good term. That term to me means. Forget about the past. Get away from it. But I don’t want to forget about the past. The past needs to be in my memories. Just because it's not there anymore doesn't mean I cannot, have wonderful memories about it. Or, even learn from it. So I call it, reinventing myself. I'm not the same person I was, until I had to let go of something. I have to adjust to a new environment. Especially, if one moves from one place to another. You have to make new friends. So you let go. Of yesterday. But it's always still in your heart. And in your hopefully good memories. It is not useful to sit and dwell on the high position I once held. It becomes frustrated, that I no longer hold it. Or if I am an artist, the wonderful things at one time I could produce, and no longer can I say, be glad you had the experience. Let it go and now focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do. Every phase in our lives brings us new experiences. If we're willing to be open to them. And if we insist in our minds not to let go of yesterday, we may truly miss some great new experiences today. Living in assisted living. I'm learning that this type of living, is the great equalizer. In this particular community, most of us are very fortunate, in having had a pretty good life. But now, even those who thought they were in higher positions, let's say, in business, become friends, with people they may not have been friends with before, because it really does not matter anymore. And we build on the new experiences we have together. We listen to each other's stories. And it always amazes me, that everyone has a story, including me, of course. That’s why I’m doing blogs. Stay tuned.